Friends and dating (part 4)

We went over to visit with Mark's family that night because I needed to be with him.  It was an emotional time for everyone who knew Joseph. The funeral was hard on us but Mark took it harder.  I told myself that I would lose Mark too and that scared me a lot.

When the funeral was over, I had planned to go home with my family but wanted to make sure that it was okay with Mark. He replied, "No, you can go." He phoned a couple of hours later; "I thought you wanted to come home with me," and I reminded him that he said it was okay for me to go home.  He planned to go out the next night with his friends to hang out; they were heading to a small bar on 16th Avenue where Joseph and him had spent every Sunday night watching hockey and playing pool.

I was speaking with Laura who worked as home support at Mark 's house, and explained how Mark was acting towards me, and that I didn't like it.  I shared how I really wanted to break up with him but worried that it was too soon after Joseph's death. She replied, "Shawna, you need to think about yourself, not Mark.” I knew that but thought that if I gave him some time and didn't pester him, things would return to a better place. I tried to give him space but was there whenever he needed me.

Mark and his roommates hosted a bonfire a couple of months later.  Mark was sitting next to his previous girlfriend and I was sitting with Laura. I watched him go inside without saying a single word to me since I had arrived. I followed him in and asked, "What’s going on?"  "Nothing, leave me alone." I returned outside until it was late and everyone was heading home.  Laura and I were heading inside when we saw Mark going into his room; he saw me, swore at me, and closed his door. Laura turned to me and said, "What was that?" She knew what was happening to our relationship but didn't realize how badly he was acting towards me until that moment.

Mark called the next day to apologize for everything and I forgave him.  We were still dating a year later when I lost another good friend.  I asked Mark if he could go with me to the funeral, but he had a wedding to attend that afternoon.  I asked if I could be his wedding date because I needed his company, but he was already taking his ex-girlfriend.  My friends told me again that I needed to break up with him but I wanted to wait until he was better.  It never happened.