What anyone (including strangers) can do

Little kids look at me and wonder why I'm in a wheelchair.  They are curious and don’t always ask questions; instead they tend to stare.  Everyone silently questions unless they understand my condition.  People often baby me as if I wouldn't understand if they spoke normally.  People often pay extra attention to my family when I am out with them and I feel like they are examining my parents to see how they deal with me.  If another family were in the same situation, people wouldn't notice them as much.

I recall a time when my mother, aunt, and I were driving back to Calgary from British Columbia.  I usually take something to help me fall asleep and then spend the entire car trip sleeping. This time I was just waking up as we stopped for supper.  I was groggy and getting my bearings as we entered the restaurant.  My aunt and mom asked what I wanted to eat but I wasn't hungry yet.  The food arrived and they started to eat but kept asking, "Are you hungry yet?  Do you want to order something?”  I had to keep reassuring them that I was just fine. 

People stole glances at our table, perhaps thinking that this poor girl wasn't allowed to eat.  It became more and more noticeable as they continued eating.  My aunt jokingly said, "Shawna, you're embarrassing us." ‘What did I do?’  I thought.  I was just drinking my chocolate milk.  My aunt gave me a couple of fries off of her plate.  "Eat these", she said, hoping the customers would stop staring.  But I still wasn't hungry!  We all laughed about how ridiculous it was when we got into the car, knowing how it must have looked and that people were possibly thinking that these cruel parents weren't allowing their teenager to eat anything.

Not everyone knows someone with a disability so they act how they think they should (with the best intentions).  Often it feels patronizing and insulting.  I want to be treated like an average person.  I want people to use a normal tone of voice and ask me questions instead of only speaking to the people I'm with.  I want to be told when someone is having difficulty understanding me, so that I can rephrase what I am saying or have someone else explain it better.  I want people to be more aware.

People can become more aware by getting out there and talking to people with disabilities. The best way for anyone to learn about others is to be in a place where they can become part of each other’s life. It was good for me to be in a setting that allowed me to feel included, and this started as soon as I was ready to be more social.

If people were more aware, then they’d pass on this awareness to their children. Children are directly influenced by and learn from what they experience around them. I believe we want what is best for our community and the people in it, so someone needs to be talking about what inclusivity means to young people, and they need to be practicing it often and in many different ways. This type of learning starts at home, between parents and their children.