Sometimes I completed work quicker
than they anticipated and I would run out of projects to do. On my second
Tuesday of work, I finished my work and there was nothing left for me to do. Sharon said I could go home early but with
Access Calgary picking me up, I could not change my schedule that quickly. Lisa offered to drop me off at home. However, a few days later she told me she was thinking about not working
on Friday, saying it could be our free day to do whatever we wanted. I didn’t like the idea. I was enjoying work and didn’t want to cut
back on my hours. I didn’t want to say
no outright so I suggested we talk to Sharon about it. Lisa went and spoke to Sharon without me and
she said it was fine. However, it was
not fine with me! I took off the following Friday to decide if it was finally
time to talk to my coordinator about what I was feeling.
Basically, all my issues with Lisa
had been building. I still met her at the Academy of Learning and she would
take me to work in her car. But she
usually arrived half an hour after I did while I was stuck in my manual chair
with a sore back. I never thought that
being with someone for three years could take away my independence and
self-esteem, but it did. I talked with
my mom and some of my close friends and I had their support. I realized that if I really wanted to show
people what I can do and who I am, then I had to make a choice for myself. I
needed to make that decision before spending another couple of months with this
burden I was carrying around. My self-confidence
had decreased and I did not realize what was happening over time.
I believe now that when there is
an issue in my life that causes significant discomfort for me, I need to
address it directly, as soon as I can.
This was a big learning experience for me. I realize how considerate and thoughtful I am
willing to be, but not everyone is the same.
I think I expected something different and was not sure how to handle
this situation, but I know better now.
I wrote a letter to my coordinator
on a Monday explaining how I felt working with Lisa, how work was going, and
what I needed in order to feel better about my job and myself. I’m not the type of person who hides how I’m feeling
but I found I was feeling discounted in arrangements that were being made, and I
also knew that I needed to be with someone who was more caring of how choices
could be affecting me. I did not want to
confront Lisa and was not confident that I would be heard. It was a big challenge for me to sit down
with her and tell her what I was feeling.
That Wednesday, I had a meeting
with my coordinator and told her what was going on with Lisa and me. I felt better after but I was a little anxious
about what was going to happen the next day at work since I was with Lisa three
days a week. I was scared of seeing her
the next day so I asked if I could go to work on my own and see what happens. I
also wanted to go in my electric wheelchair to be independent.
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