Thursday, October 30, 2014

Finding a job—a REAL job (part 3)

My first day of work, I was worried about everything: what should I wear, would my co-workers be nice, would they like me, would I like them, would they understand me?  I had worked before but never somewhere where I was paid and contributed to a team.  I had spent two weeks before I started the job going over my school notes to refresh my memory.  It was a new environment and I was excited to see what would happen.  At the same time, I was worried about how it would go working with Lisa.

Lisa decided to meet at the Academy of Learning and head to work in her car. We had been meeting at Academy of Learning while job searching and using their computer lab, but this also meant that I had to use my manual wheelchair because my power chair is too heavy. My manual wheelchair makes it easier to travel by car but someone has to push me everywhere and I don’t like losing my independence like that.  It’s not very comfortable and it kills my back after a few hours. When we were making our travel plans, I didn’t think it was a good idea to use my manual wheelchair, but I didn’t say anything because I didn’t want to make a big deal out of it.  Negotiation does not come naturally to me as it does with most people.

My first work assignment was to make a form in Adobe Dreamweaver. They already had the information and data ready but I needed to format it all.  I was happy that I finished the assignment on my first day.  The rest of the day went well too; everyone was nice but they spoke to Lisa instead of me.  I told myself that I would give it a couple of weeks to see what would happen and see if we would still work well together.

In the following weeks I kept enjoying the work and contributing to a team, but was feeling more frustrated with Lisa as my worker.  My co-workers kept asking her if I could do things instead of asking me directly.  I felt like they didn’t know me at all or what I could accomplish.  They were seeing me as someone with a disability, someone who needed a worker to be there everyday. That’s not me!  I was mad at myself for letting Lisa take away my independence and self-confidence.  It was and is still very important for me to be able to exercise my own power and control in my life.

The best option was to have a support person who was more aware of my needs and assisted others to understand that I am more than capable of answering questions.  Unfortunately, the web developers would email Lisa about my assignments and she would let me know what needed to be done.  I went into work not having a clue about what I would do that day. Basically, I didn’t have a voice of my own because everyone communicated to me through Lisa. This is another example of depersonalizing someone!

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