Parents and independence

Parents who have children with life challenges may think they are doing the right thing for them by sheltering them away from too much responsibility.  Maybe they believe their child can't handle the outside world. I believe the parents of a child with additional challenges need to allow their child the opportunity to experience their own life, whenever possible.

I have not been on the parent’s side of the equation but I think we are fortunate to be living in a country where there are supports available for persons with life challenges.  It is not perfect, I know, but we are lucky for sure. If we are able, we all need to go out and have a life for ourselves. We all need to learn what it is to have freedom, and to have fun. We cannot live our lives through someone else.  

Some parents may feel that no one can look after their child better than they can.  I think some risks are worth taking though because, otherwise, the person may feel less challenged and fulfilled.  Being less dependent on my parents helped me to feel more independent as a person.  I am grateful that they did the right thing by letting me be as independent as possible when I was a young woman. They supported my choice to move out and have my own life.  My parents will be here for me as long as they are able but I now have my own life and I am free to go out in the world without my family.  It is the right thing for me.

On the other hand, if parents do not want their child to move out on their own, that’s fine because they can live at home. However, it will be very difficult for a person with a life challenge to be independent if they always rely on their parents. The bottom line is that we need freedom to explore life, and freedom to make choices about how we spend our own time.