Out of high school, into PACE

In my last year of high school, we focused on researching my future. I participated in a work experience at an office, spending my Thursday afternoons and Friday mornings helping as an office assistant. I spent a lot of time researching different schools in different cities. I narrowed my options down to three colleges: Mount Royal, Olds, and Red Deer. At the time, I felt like I wanted to see what college was like. Those three schools have programs for people with developmental disabilities and they were near Calgary. I went for a tour of all three colleges and I sent my application to Mount Royal and Olds. I went for an interview at both colleges.

I was scared and nervous to begin a new life. After all, it had been pretty secure being with the same people for four years. Both colleges said they couldn't help me with my dreams to write a book, but I kept trying because I knew a program existed somewhere for me. I finally found a program called PACE (Participation in Academics and Career Exploration), and I applied after making sure I met the required qualifications. Through PACE, I would be able to look for work and any other goals like writing this book.

PACE is a program to help high school graduates with developmental disabilities transition from high school to future education or work. They help to identify career, work, and education objectives; develop job skills; apply and search for jobs; and provide on-the-job support or set up a study schedule for schoolwork.  PACE received my application and set up an appointment with my parents and me. We discussed the dream of writing my life story and I left feeling hopeful about my future.

At the beginning of the summer, I went to Bow Valley College to see PACE in action.  A Community Resource Worker gave me a campus tour and I saw other individuals in the program working on their academics.  When I left there, I felt good about PACE and knew that it was probably the most suitable program for me. During my four years at PACE, I worked with three Community Resource Workers who helped facilitate community involvement and job opportunities.  My career objective was to be an author; PACE helped get me into writing courses, go to conferences about writing, and find a part-time job while I started this book.

Tips for schools and parents

I want schools to have programs to let children with disabilities interact with other children. Through this interaction, those children will gain more awareness and be more accepting. When I was in middle school, for example, sometimes it was hard for me to interact with other kids because I was not in the same class as them; I was in a special education class. Sometimes I went into the other class but not always. There are always things schools can do to make children more aware.

When I look at my nieces and nephew, sometimes I wonder what they think about me as their aunt?  Sometimes I wonder what kids in general think about when they see someone with a disability. If they know someone who has a disability, they tend to say hi when they walk by. On the other hand, when kids stare at me, I know that they don't know why I’m in a wheelchair.

I believe that all kids around the world should be taught at a young age about people living with disabilities. When kids stare at me, it feels rude and uncomfortable, and it happens all the time. Sometimes it’s not just kids that stare; adults sometimes stare too.

I want people to see me as a person first; just as more people are becoming aware of racism, more people need to become aware of ableism (discrimination against people with disabilities). Appearances on the outside do not define people; people are who they are on the inside.

School (part 5)

For high school, I went to Bert Church High and had the same teacher for all four years. Apparently, I behaved badly towards her when we first met, but I don't remember that.  From that day on, I was as good as gold!  She wanted me to learn life skills, math, finances, and writing letters.  I did it all on the computer or my Liberator. My best subject was math because I have good reasoning and logic skills.  Unlike elementary school, I found reading comprehension the most difficult.  I was a good student who always reminded my teacher of what she was supposed to do that afternoon.  We shared a great sense of humour and I loved to joke with her.

I thought my last year of high school would be exciting. It wasn't bad, but it wasn't good either. The principal was not as inclusive as I would have liked. The first issue involved class pictures. Our entire class was looking very nice for our individual pictures. We went down to the auditorium and I thought our class would be posing on the stairs. In fact, it was in the basement of the auditorium. There was a long staircase leading down there. All my classmates could make it down the stairs except for me.

My classmates suggested they carry me down ("She is a student, and she needs to get her picture taken"). My aide reminded us that the school would be in trouble if anyone fell while transporting me. She went down to talk to the photographers and see what could be done. They offered to come upstairs after everyone else was done or I could come before school started and have my picture taken. During this time, Susan, my sister, came up to me and asked if I had gotten my picture taken. "No, I can't. They won't let people carry me down and I can't get down the stairs."

Susan was mad and we told our parents about it when we got home. They phoned the school and said, "This is ridiculous, why can't you have it someplace accessible?” There was another student in a scooter at our school and he waited until everyone else was done for his picture.  My parents ended up phoning the photographers and we went into Calgary on a weekend so I could have my grade twelve pictures.  By the time it was over, I was fed up with the whole thing.

The other issue happened a few months before school ended; our grade went to practice graduation in the gym. My sister asked where the ramp was to reach the stage. "We don't have one," replied the principal. "What about my sister and Kevin?" Susan asked. "We thought we could come down and give their diplomas to them," the principal replied. Susan argued that it was important to come up on stage and receive a diploma like anyone else. The principal still refused.

I was on the other side of the gym during the discussion and found out when Susan told me what had happened.  She put together a petition, gathering signatures from the other students to have a ramp installed or not have a graduation at all.  She walked into the principal's office with the petition: "Here, if you don't put a ramp to the stage, there won't be a graduation because no one will show up." I felt bad for the other students missing out on graduation if the principal didn't agree to a ramp, but Susan insisted it was every student's right. Luckily, a ramp was installed in time for graduation. The ceremony made me feel like a normal girl receiving a diploma for twelve years of work. Those twelve years flew by for me. They were a milestone in my life.

School (part 4)

A friend in my special needs class and I lip-synched Madonna's "Like a Prayer" in our grade four talent show. We entered ourselves in the talent show but didn't have an act yet. A few days later, I was in my room listening to music when "Like a Prayer" came on. The song spoke to me about what I wanted to achieve. Part of me felt like the voice in the song was pushing me to fly when I felt like I was falling. I choreographed all the moves that night.  It was easier for me to perform them on my knees than in my wheelchair so I could somersault around.  My friend and I had free time the next day and I showed her the moves.  It took a while but she got the hang of them!

We practised for the next couple of days before the talent show.  I also practised at home so I would know the moves by heart and feel confident performing them.  It was easy to remember all the words to the song because I was listening to it a lot.  We wore matching outfits for the talent show: shorts over tights and t-shirts.  I was nervous before we performed because I wasn't sure I could do it. But when I got out there, I forgot about everyone and just had fun with it. The whole school cheered for us and we won! It was fun to feel like a normal girl without a disability.

Not everyone in elementary school was able to see past my wheelchair.  I was picked on a lot. They called me every name in the book, which made me furious.  When I would arrive home and vent to my parents, they gave me the advice that it's not my problem if certain people don't like me because that means they probably aren't worth my friendship anyway.  People calling me names didn't stop me from enthusiastically greeting new students in the class, wanting to learn about them and help them out.

I shone in my teacher's eyes; she thought that I would be a great advocacy role model for people with disabilities.  In 8th grade, we saw an article about a young lady who also had C.P. and lived on her own in Calgary.  I wrote her a letter and asked if we could meet.  She agreed and came to my school to visit me.  She said that I inspired her but she too inspired me.  My teacher always said I was an inspiration to her and others because of my positive attitude and drive to challenge every day as I greeted it.

As the hardest worker in the class, I was able to see irony and humour in stories, sometimes better than my classmates.  I have a good memory for stories and could always answer questions about the story we had just read.  This surprised my classmates who thought I couldn't do much.  I ran the lunch kiosk and counted all the money.  I always had the brightest smile and a good sense of humour.  I was always well behaved and never argued.  I would lead the calendar exercise every morning and was very keen to learn and do new things.  When I was tired, I was willing to negotiate.  I went through all the things everyone else goes through.

In first grade, I stormed across the playground in my electric wheelchair, swinging my favourite Barbie doll by her hair and yelling, all because someone had dared to say that my Barbie's dress wasn't very pretty.  I always had friends inside and outside of resource class; they would cluster around me but we would occasionally fight like any other group of kids.  I was in Brownies and Girl Guides; it was fun to be part of a group and the kids treated me as if I was like anyone else, even though I used my walker.  I loved our camping trips and selling cookies.

School (part 3)

From grades one to six, I went to Muriel Clayton School in Airdrie, Alberta.  I was in the regular stream for grade one but part of the way through grade two, it was decided that I should be put into a special education class.  Here, I would receive modified classes and be in a smaller student to teacher environment.  I joined the other students for lunch and recess.  Recess was tough for me, watching all my friends playing on the playground while I was sitting in my wheelchair.  It took time to realize that I was normal, even if I wasn't on the playground with all my friends.

I was lucky to have the same teacher for grades two through eight.  I was smart in my subjects, specifically Language Arts, Social Studies, Math, Spelling, and Reading.  I always wanted to be involved in the regular classes, but I was frustrated and nervous when writing tests.  I had trouble getting ideas out of my head and wasn't able to express them to my scribe during testing.  I did not like being in the modified resource classes because I was always with the same classmates.  I had a big problem with one boy in particular because he never listened.  I had an aide who worked with both of us and this boy would often take much of my aide's time away from me because of his own needs.  Looking back, I understand that he needed more help than I did.

I was also lucky to have the same aide for ten years of my school life; she became my second mom and my friend. She nicknamed me "Sunshine" because I always had a smile on my face.  I wasn't fond of her the first time we met because she was a new face who was coming into my life.  Sometimes we didn't get along and I wished she would leave me alone, but she never gave up on me.  She was there when I asked for help and willingly granted my requests for independence.  She will be in my heart forever; I miss her everyday and I love her very much.  In grade 4, I started participating in regular classes again, to see if I could keep up with the other kids.  I was scared to be back and felt like an outsider.  In regular class I would hold back from being involved with the lessons or other classmates.  I was friendly with the students but always on the sidelines.